riverside

if u ask anyone and i mean ANYONE they will tell you that riverside is thee worst place to flourish spiritually. theres so much going on. if someone can trully withstand riversides torments and temptations then that person has passed. and like any other freshman, i too am having a hard time spiritually living in riverside...but i do luv it

change

went back down, but am slowly comin back up thanx to my boi and brother of god kirbee. but hopefully now i can stay up and out for ever. its time things change around here in my life

back on track

so i just had retreat and vbs(as a teacher) back to back for a week.

retreat was my spark to re start my life on track with God as it has been dead for some time. so slowly but surely i am headed on my way again to be a Jesus freak( and hopefully for permanent)

vbs was tiring but freakin amazing and i was blessed with the kids i had to teach. balls of energy they were. but in that week i spent with my fellow college students i made friendships pld and new whichi am thankful for.

so until next time lets hope this one isnt just a high but a lifestyle

peace and love

fell and still falling

the main problem is that i make no effort and plan on not making one to try and re connect with the spiritual side. its like i'm just acting a christian and not being one. it is hard...it all started like this.

a few months ago i was like the craziest jesus freak ever with my group of jesus freaks and stuff. we wud praise like crazy, go to prayer meetings and alll that. like our lives 24/7 was God God God. and then i dont remember how specifically but me and a buddy (ill call him ken) started to slowly but surely slip away from this phase which turns out was just that...a phase. we knew it too. we would always say "hey man the devil is kickin our asses to the ground right now" and stuff like that. and we tried we really did to stay up and not get kicked down. but lookin at me now ive been kicked to the fullest kickin ever. im sooooo low. i do giv props to the devil for doing a great job but fuck u nigga.

me and ken had a conversation once. we were talking about drinkin etc etc. and we were talkin about some of the jesus freaks and how we couldnt ever see them drinking and stuff like that. but what we did say was......that if they did fall meaning drink or "sin" then that only meant that he or she was gonna be something great in the kingdom of God and the only reason that satan tried so hard to make them fall was because theywould be a big oppstacle for satan to face. thats why satan used all the might he had to try and drop that person...make sense?


We were going to be something great in the army of god and we would have SURELY defeated satan without breaking a sweat. but one by one satan took us down to weaken the army because we played such a vital and impactful role. so if you do fall or see someone fall know this....you are a strong person that is why you fell....but also now you must get back up and fight your battle against motha fucka satan and give him that one more obstacle to face...which is me and you.

hope this made sense.
Peace and love

me now on 7/7/10

for anyone who can see this which is none cuz i got no follower...its gone...i cudnt recover i and also my friends went down so hard so fast that now its too hard to get back up.....what a shame...the biggest bunch of jesus lovers, gone, just like that, we were the life of the church and the ministry and now nothing.....now its sooo gone and any sign of action we try not to make it happen...it was the glory days but now after the golden age has done its time we come out unvictorius and we fall in the dark side of the spiritual realm......but in the physical world we reign supreme at least we think so and we do what we gotta do to do it......defying laws unseen and behind......the time has past and im sure will come plenty more times but its just the same ole cycle and when we pass we hope that it will end on the cycle where re-birth is at our side and we die in the days of glory and not in the days of the gloom......so much has changed....so much has been done......and people will say i have changed and its true but now they dont know what has happened and they will see that i am not once the man i was once before....no more peace and love...more like go, get out of the way, i dont need you, i have my own better friends, people are shady, hateful, fake and transparent....and when they cry to me to take them back or to hang with them i will know that i am just a burden a sort of responsibility that they have to ask me to hang with them....but my loyalty is too strong, it always is and that my weakness, i will do anything for u guys and yet i was disowned and now when i leave u for a while u will realize it....u will need what i have to offer u and i will look down on u and say no...but my loyalty will unregrettably say yes and i will have to come back but it will only be the same, a few months of happiness then nothing and again and again and again...i hate it, i despise it, i loathe it....nothing of u is me but i am myself........so as cynical as it all sounds if u see me u will be surprised at what u see and what ull receive......so till then......reminisce and influence

IHOPU

i feel like i should go to ihopu. it was always a hindrance thinking about it but now ill love to go with almost no hesitation. lets see how i like it when i eventually visit and see hoe God will lead me.

Retreat 2010

just got back. and lemme tell you that i can only tell u in person what has happened. God shook us all and we worshiped ourselves out. as all retreats we are all refreshed and we play the waiting game now on when this refreshment will eventually die down. but God dont let that happen be with us and let this fire eternally burn us.